Life has been somewhat of a movie montage, filled with highs and lows, lessons and adventures. When I booked my flight last May, I had no clue what would happen, but buying that ticket is high on my list of best life decisions. Considering I’ve never lived away from home before, I left the nest to fly across the ocean, leaving me without the safety net of my parents. As everyone does, I managed to survive; however it came with some trial-and-errors, YouTube tutorials and calls to mom. Over 365 days later, I’m alive and well and I’ve learned a lot along the way. Here is a list of my mistakes so you won’t make them or lessons you yourself have learned the hard way and we can all laugh at them together.
Life Lessons Learned
Looking for an apartment is hard.
There are so many variables to consider when searching for housing – location, number and gender of roommates, furniture, condition, amenities, cost and transit options nearby. Apartments go like hot cakes online – you call about an offer and it can be gone two hours later. Always go look at a place in person because pictures are not accurate depictions. It can take some time, patience and perseverance but hopefully you’ll land something suitable. I was lucky enough to find my apartment just as I was about to give up. I’ve happily lived there since August with my roommate Ania.
Do not ride on public transit without a ticket. You will be fined.
As a resident, I have a city transit card that I renew every three months. I rarely run into ticket checkers but if I do, they just scan my card and move along. One time, I was taking my American friend to the bus station and we took the tram. I forgot to buy him a ticket and we were one stop away when the ticket checker hopped on the tram and asked us for tickets. Panicked, I said this is our stop and we had to go, but he got off with us and slapped us with a 165 PLN fine. I was mortified.
Going out to eat is expensive.
Back in the US, I would go out to eat at least once a week. Granted, I lived at home and had a nice salary, but I liked to treat myself. Here, I look at menu prices and think, ‘Are you serious? This meal costs a week’s worth of groceries.’ I started to look at personal finances differently because I have to budget for rent, internet, phone bill, transit, etc.
Don’t cram everything into the washing machine.
Personally, I don’t mind doing laundry, in fact the mundane activity gives me a nice break from working or thinking about work. However, since I do my own laundry, I don’t accumulate that much and I don’t like to waste water, so I’ve been shoving everything into one load – save time and water by using only multicolor liquid detergent (if you’re too cheap to buy one for colors, blacks, and one for whites). Well, if you do that, your clothes won’t rinse properly and your blacks will have milky white residues all over them. Not chic.
Don’t drink a bottle of prosecco after eating only a bowl of mac n’ cheese.
Let’s just say, this is a lesson I’ll never, ever forget. Turned out to be my most memorable Tinder dates, but for all the wrong reasons. We were having a lovely time by the river at sunset until it was time to leave and as I stood up, I realized just how much I drank. I am not proud of that trip home. Thank God my cousin Ola took care of me. Now I only drink one glass of prosecco.
You don’t need toxic people in your life.
Do not be friends with or date someone who is any of the following: emotionally abusive, egotistical, self-absorbed, controlling, narrow-minded, unstable, insincere and selfish. As much ‘fun’ as you have together, it’s not worth the sadness, loneliness and pain they cause you. Cut them off before they ruin you and/or waste any more of your precious time.
Travelling does not fill voids.
As much as I love visiting new places for work or leisure, there’s always the dreaded return flight where no one is anxiously waiting for you to get home. Granted, I now have incredible friends who ask when I’ll be back so we can catch up, but I do miss swinging the door open and having a prepared meal followed by a multitude of questions about my trip. Travelling just reminds me of what I’m missing in my life as soon as I’m back.
You don’t need a car to survive.
As a teenager, I was ridiculously eager to get my driver’s license. To me, that little piece of plastic equaled freedom. After a year without a car, I realize what a huge stress relief it is not to own a car. To be fair, I live in a city with a reliable public transit system, and I would be paralyzed in a suburb, but I’m glad I don’t need one in Warsaw. How do I afford to travel? Just add up the money I save by not having a car (gas, maintenance, insurance, carwashes, parking, etc.)
Family is everything.
It’s a complete cliché to say I wouldn’t be where I am without my family, but I owe all my success to my family. My cousin was kind enough to let me crash with her for the summer while I settled in at my new job, my grandma always sends me home with a giant bag of leftovers, jars and eggs, and my parents continue to support my decision and hide how much they miss me by reminding me how proud they are. My sister Nicole came for Christmas – just when I needed some sisterly love the absolute most. My uncle Jacek saved my life on numerous occasions like finding my wallet on the bus, filing my taxes or bringing more food from grandma so I ‘don’t starve.’ Unlike many of my foreign friends, I’m one of the lucky ones because I have family in Poland.
Do not choose Netflix over friends.
Even if you’re tired, it’s raining or it’s late, don’t make silly excuses for not going out because you could potentially miss out on one of the most memorable nights of your life. This happened to me recently when I was sitting at home and my friends suggested going to an outdoor bar across town. I hesitated to go, but I’m so happy I got up and made the trip. The bar was tucked inside a park where lights and lanterns hung from the trees. With a DJ and people on picnic blankets and wandering around the park at dusk, it was a fantastic place to hang out. It’s called Prochownia in Zoliborz for those of you who want to check it out.
There you have it folks. I may appear to be put-together on social media, but I’m a haute mess like the rest of us millennials — just blindly going through life, trying to improve our cooking capabilities beyond spaghetti, travel the world, drink cheap wine at sunset, and not planning to stay in one place for too long. But I couldn’t be happier being just where I am in life.
MONICA ZIELINSKI 